Originally published in the July, 2020 issue of Psychology Today magazine FAMILY HAS ALWAYS been a lifeline, and the coronavirus has led thousands of young adults to grab on tight. Whether just out of college, newly furloughed or laid off, or a few years into their first jobs, sons and daughters have returned to their parents’ home to… Read More
“You don’t always have to be doing something with your children. Just being home and in the same room is often enough.” That’s something I noted in my book, Little Things Long Remembered: Making Your Children Feel Special Every Day. That was then…when home life was fragmented and finding time to be together a rarity and a… Read More
When you work from home fulltime or part time, too many people in your life—definitely in mine—think you’re available 24/7 to cover an extra carpool run, walk their dog, watch for a neighbor’s delivery, drop a package at the post office… To others, it’s no big deal for us to juggle our schedules; we’re mostly… Read More
One woman’s revealing story of her emotional rollercoaster ride and struggle deciding whether to have or not to have another child. It provides insights or perhaps affirmation for the decision you may already have made.… Read More
Whether your parents or in-laws care for your children on a regular basis or occasionally, best practices when a grandparent is nanny help build a win-win collaboration. Tantamount to making the arrangement work for you are taking steps to avoid misunderstandings and recognizing often overlooked benefits and advantages that you may not have considered or… Read More
No matter how old you or your parents are, a parent’s controlling or critical behavior doesn’t seem to change. Parents have a special knack for pushing your buttons or inserting themselves into your adult life. Some parents are overly controlling, constantly critical or intrusive in obvious ways; others are less apparent, subtle. The annoying behavior… Read More
Only children are far from a rarity these days. Yet, as many only children and their parents can attest, people are still quick to judge and comment. Has this happened to you? Pamela, mother of a nine-year-old, aptly told me, “It’s open season on only children; they remain one of the most discriminated against groups… Read More
Conflicted about adding another child to your family? Deciding to have one child or several is monumental. It can cause all kinds of self-doubt, friction, worry and, frankly, stress. You and your partner may disagree on the number of children you want, making the decision all the more difficult. In speaking to those with one… Read More
Humor is an effective parenting tool for disciplining and bond-building. You don’t need to be naturally funny to add humor to your parenting toolbox. It is a surprisingly effective — and underused — parenting technique to relieve tension and strengthen the bond with your children. For parents, humor can be a gateway to a deeper… Read More
Americans often look to other countries for new trends and practices, and parenting is no exception. You might have stumbled upon articles that extol child-rearing philosophies from one region in particular: Scandinavia. American parents, bogged down by pressure for their children to compete and to raise star children, will find Scandinavian parenting tips appealing and… Read More
Think back to your childhood — specifically, your memories of the holidays. Your fondest recollections might resemble something like singing carols with your cousins, or baking a special dish with your grandparents. Or, something more festive or adventurous: a trip to the ballet, or sledding in the woods. In asking people about their warmest childhood… Read More
It’s no secret that “mean girls” are younger than ever before. But how young? Their attacks and patterns are similar to what many of us with young daughters experienced in high school. It often starts small: Choosing to exclude another girl at recess or from a birthday party. A mean post online. Then, it escalates:… Read More
The ride to school and after-school activities can quickly become a tiresome chore. It’s a mad morning rush — up with the alarm, out the door, and then getting everyone where they need to be on time. For working parents, it can be tough to resist the urge to think about your upcoming tasks for… Read More
With back-to-school season here once again, the dog days of summer shift dramatically into busy mode. Suddenly, schedules feel packed. In between morning commutes, after-school sports or weekend extracurricular activities, it seems that there’s barely time to update each other on your day. You’re not alone. Life swirls at a hectic pace in most families.… Read More
Your phone rings or an incoming text chimes. You’re greeted with the same all-too-familiar message: “Can you help with…” or “Can you do me a favor?” As always, you are the go-to person in your family, friend circle or work group to handle a crisis or solve an issue. And, as usual, you’ll do it… Read More
More families worldwide are choosing to have one child. However, unfair attitudes still abound. Even though I, and others, have spent decades shedding light on only child discrimination and stereotypes, we continue to see and hear baseless only child bashing. Recently, I spotted advice offered in a daily newspaper’s parenting Q & A section. It… Read More
When your child was younger, he or she routinely looked to you for answers or assistance, from learning to tie his shoes to help with homework. That made you feel needed and loved — popular with your own child. Then everything changed: You parent a teen now who is not keen on all your rules.… Read More
Most of us equate happy relationships with harmony: getting along, agreeing, and not disappointing one another. In the extreme, however, always striving to keep things rosy with a spouse or partner can be draining … and has the potential to strain the bond. There’s much more to relationship contentment than avoiding fights. In order to… Read More
It’s no secret that the advent of smartphones and other technology puts strains on family life. Technology also causes a brain drain. According to recent data from the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, children now spend more than seven and a half hours a day in front of a screen. (“Screen” includes cellphones,… Read More
Often, it’s easy to get swept up into regularly responding to requests with a yes rather than a default no. You may not even recognize your willingness or selflessness as a hindrance. Some people are more difficult to refuse than others. Who gets you to say “yes” most often? Who makes your life the most… Read More
Most of us don’t have enough — or any — work-life balance. It always seems just out of reach. Especially for those who consider themselves dedicated, loyal employees, we don’t know how to avoid being overworked. Stress becomes a part of life. If you feel overworked, it’s likely that you are pushing your limits, putting… Read More
If you’re like many parents, the prospect of saying no to your children sometimes feels uncomfortable or difficult. The benefits of saying no are unknown. You may believe that it’s simply easier to cave in. After all, how bad is your daughter’s request for another scoop of ice cream? Or, how harmful is it to… Read More
It is not unusual for adult children—be they 25, 35, 55, or older—to suddenly act like their 10-year-old selves with their parents. It can feel as if you have no control over the situation, but you do have choices in an effort to stop bending to parents’ wishes and demands.… Read More
In this guest post, Dr. Michele Borba, an educational psychologist and parenting and bullying expert, offers specific, evidence-based tips on bullying prevention. Her latest book, End Peer Cruelty, Build Empathy, helps teachers and parents instruct children on how to step in safely to halt bullying. Dr. Borba emphasizes how creating a caring culture based on… Read More
In all their different roles, our friends are supportive, can be counted on, and enjoyable—at the least, that’s what we hope they will be. Take the quiz to evaluate your friendships and learn how to strengthen them.… Read More
It’s the most wonderful time of the year. Or, for you is it a runaway celebration train of obligations and a mile-long to-do list? You can change that by protecting your personal boundaries.… Read More
The holidays are a time for togetherness. Yet, for many families, it’s also a stressful season ruled by obligations and pricey expectations: gift-giving, attending party after party, adhering to tiresome traditions. Especially for families with young children, the unrelenting demands of the holidays can take over. Orchestrating wholesome family-friendly, meaningful holiday activities quickly take a… Read More
My favorite day of the year is the day we switch from Daylight Savings Time to Standard Time. The clock goes back, giving me a precious extra hour. I always seem to need more time — over the years, my growing people-pleasing tendencies haven’t helped. I don’t recall being in such demand in my 20s.… Read More
Making Their Lists, But Not Checking Them Twice: Why parents can’t – but should – say no. Whether you have toddlers or teens, a parent’s natural tendency is to strive for content and happy children. But, saying yes to what can feel like an endless stream of wants morphs into a damaging cycle that I call “yes-parenting.” Learn… Read More
Yes, I said yes to my only child and stepped in or gave in. Saying yes is a trap only child parents fall into. Saying no, however, teaches important life lessons. Read more… Read More
Any holiday offers fertile ground for fostering positive family togetherness and warm memory making. Halloween, with its delightfully spooky fun, can be an especially exciting time for young children. Whatever and however you celebrate your family-friendly Halloween, it is important to include rituals and traditions. To you, Halloween may pale in comparison to higher profile,… Read More
When someone asks you for a favor, a “yes, sure” is out of your mouth before the reality of the commitment registers. You may have a people-pleasing problem. It’s not uncommon for many of us to wonder how we got roped into being the family’s go-to task person, an extra office assignment, or making arrangements… Read More
How do you know your own parenting stress level? Jessica Valenti, author of Why Have Kids?, believes that if you’ve ever felt like you face an onslaught of constant worries, demands, and sudden curveballs, you’re not alone. Valenti writes, “Nearly every study done in the last ten years on parental happiness shows a marked decline in… Read More
Your family medicine cabinet seems less threatening than hard drugs or alcohol abuse. However, consider this: Some teens turn to easily accessible over-the-counter cough medicine for a buzz. We’ll look at three ways to prevent teen DXM abuse. In this guest post, Anita Brikman, from the Consumer Healthcare Products Association, presents things parents can do… Read More
Proponents of large or larger families claim your only child will be spoiled, lonely, or selfish or worse. These 7 social stereotypes and others date back to the late 1890s and have no basis in fact and probably never did… … Read More
Here are 10 creative, memorable ways to spend Mother’s Day together as a family.… Read More
If you are the parent of one child, it’s hard not to think about only child stereotypes and hope that none of them will apply to your child. To that end, you try to teach your child not to be selfish or bossy or to insist on having everything his own way. Such behavior is… Read More
Plenty of people struggle with maintaining happy and healthy relations with their in-laws. Bring a newborn into the equation and unexpected sticky in-law situations can quickly arise. You likely spent a lot of time with your in-laws before getting married. And you may have felt that they were involved in your pregnancy — baby showers,… Read More
There is no right or wrong family size, but there is strong evidence demonstrating a firstborn and only child edge. In families, the finite resources parents have means that any given sibling will be given less time and attention than if they were an only child. In essence, siblings compete for whatever their parents can provide. … Read More
Modesty is in short supply when it comes to our offspring be they 5 or 45 years old. Here’s why. … Read More
How are you and your family making this holiday season extra memorable? … Read More
Here are five parent-proven strategies for putting the brakes on stress so that you can be the calm and caring parent you want to be.… Read More
What’s in your medicine cabinet that could lead to teen medicine abuse? The cough medicine—harmless, right? Yes, if taken as directed. However, the active ingredient in most over-the-counter cough medicines can produce serious side effects if taken excessively.… Read More
Parents of only children will likely agree: their singleton rules the roost. So, what happens when a baby is on the way? … Read More
There’s a new only-child stereotype brewing. Are only children really more likely to be overweight or obese? A potential new stereotype links childhood obesity to family size, birth order and, specifically, to only children. Since 1896 when psychologist G. Stanley Hall pronounced only children were lonely, selfish, and bossy, these stereotypes have stuck. A number… Read More
The”older moms” trend is clear: More women in their late thirties and well into their forties are starting families.… Read More
Having an only child is desirable from a wide range of viewpoints and practicalities, but that doesn’t make decisions about family size any easier.… Read More
How you treat your partner on Valentine’s Day speaks volumes to your children.
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We live in an age of yes-parenting, in a culture of parents who can’t say NO to their offspring whatever their age and whatever the number of children in the family. Yet, it’s common practice to categorize parents of only children as indulgent and overlook the same parental behavior in parents who have more than one child.… Read More
