Overscheduled? Overworked? Overwhelmed? Get the “No-How” to Take Back Your Life. Refusing someone is rarely easy and often downright uncomfortable. But constantly giving in creates anxiety, anger, added stress, regret, and feelings of powerlessness. Whether you are looking to curtail or eliminate parents’ incessant demands, intrusions into your love life, must-attend invitations, your children taking advantage of you, a friend’s dependence or the boss’s unrealistic expectations, The Book of NO is an invaluable resource for recognizing how people snag you, discovering why you agree, stopping the habit…and stemming the tide of favors asked of you.
With Dr. Newman’s techniques and insights you’ll discover how to say “no” in the face of a person’s power, influence, bullying or disappointment—whether real or imagined. The more comfortable you become saying “no,” the more opportunities you create to achieve the less chaotic, more fulfilling life that always seems just out of reach.
By strengthening boundaries against the barrage of unwanted distractions, you’ll be able to move closer to your goals—even if they are just finding time to workout and eat healthier, see a movie, or read a book. And, the bonus: You’ll have time to improve the most important connections in your life, the ones that really matter to you.
Begin Flexing Your NO Muscle
Saying “no” is a learned skill and one you’ll quickly master as you work through the basic steps and implement your rights when asked to contribute your talent, your energy, support or merely your presence. Will you help me pack for the move? Will you walk my dog? Can I borrow your car? So often, the simplest requests irritate or eat up precious time.
Here’s a small sampling of ways to preserve the rights that you unwittingly give to others when you say “yes”:
- Make your feelings and desires known
- Establish and guard your boundaries
- Keep your needs in the forefront so saying “no” is possible
- Turn down those who flatter you into a “yes”
- Request the details before committing
Want more tips on how to say no? Click here.
How Much of a People-Pleaser Are You? Take the Quiz
Praise for The Book of NO
“This book will free you. It is one of the most liberating, empowering and practical topics I’ve seen…and Susan Newman does a masterful job bringing it home.”
—Joseph Grenny, New York Times bestselling co-author of Crucial Confrontations
“In this handy manual, social psychologist Newman writes with humor but a no-nonsense tone, offering 250 short, dramatic scenes that demonstrate workable techniques for helping you just say no.”
—Publishers Weekly Magazine
“The skill of saying ‘no’ is essential for a life of freedom and dignity. Dr. Newman’s book, through a series of carefully analyzed examples, teaches that skill.”
—Herbert Fensterheim, Ph.D., co-author of Don’t Say Yes When You Want to Say No
“We all do it, way too often. We say “yes” when we really want to say “no” when asked to do something. A new book offers some sensible tips to help us reclaim our lives. The Book of No: 250 Ways to Say It and Mean It is a bright and easy read by American psychologist Susan Newman. It offers up a wide range of common scenarios with appropriate responses that will enable us to gracefully avoid situations that don’t appeal…I urge everyone to read this book…”
—Sally Johnston, Edmonton Sun
“I make a living by telling people that saying ‘NO’ to unsuitable clients is the key to prosperity in business. Dr. Newman broadens the ‘No’ principle even further. She’s built a convincing case that judicious use of this powerful two-letter word is the key to a richer, more authentic, happier life. Will you read this book? For one, I urge you to say ‘Yes.’”
—Kim DeMotte, author of The Positive Power of No: How that Little Word You Love to Hate Can Make or Break Your Business
“Newman, a social psychologist and teacher (Rutgers Univ.), maintains that the more comfortable people are with saying “no,” the more they will be able to move toward their own goals and live calmer, more fulfilling lives. She dissects 250 common people-pleasing situations with friends, at work, in the family, or with really difficult people and provides the right words to get out of the situation. Newman’s book is well written and sure to help. Strongly recommended for all libraries.”
- This Is Why It’s So Hard to Say No Real Simple
- Unhealthy People-Pleasing Behaviors You Need to Stop Verily
- 9 Signs You Might Be A People Pleaser Huffington Post
- Do you suffer from the need-to-please disease? The Today Show (Video)
- How to Say NO CNN’s Showbiz Tonight (Video)
- Parents letting underage children go social/online ABC2 News (Video)
- When ‘No’ Is the Right Answer: How to Not Be a Pushover Lifescript
- Non-Bitchy Ways to Say “No”! Cosmopolitan
- How to Say NO at Work Forbes
- 7 Nicer Ways to Say No Match.com
- Kids Ask for So Much: A good parent has to be the bad guy sometimes. Parents Magazine
- Spoiled Children Concern Parents New York Daily News
- Saying no can be a positive USA Today
- 5 Times You Should Say NO To A Friend Friendship Rules