Probably nowhere in the world is the pressure to shine greater than that exerted on Chinese only children. In a nation with a one child policy in effect for over 30 years, these children are studied and scrutinized. Their outcomes are not always positive.

Responses from 201,988 parents in 86 countries support what other researchers have found: “happiness decreases with the number of children parents have,” but more specifically this global study finds that parents are less happy the younger they have their children.

Why should women postpone motherhood until their dream of being a parent becomes elusive? Motherhood has new parameters and a wider range of choices once viewed as different, even unacceptable.

what happens when you come face to face with your child who’s demanding the newest iPhone, iPad or movie concept toy? It seems “all the kids at school have them,” and suddenly the “crummy old piece of junk” your child absolutely had to have six months ago isn’t good enough anymore. Don’t despair. The good news for parents is that spoiled children can be un-spoiled.

For the last 20+ years I have been researching and writing about family issues. I realized many are surprising and not well known. It also became evident that other realities are quite shocking such as the penalty working mothers deal with (and pay for) and the staggering amount of sibling abuse. Here are six well-kept family “secrets” that influence family size today.

The trend of adult children of all ages moving home with their parents is unmistakable. This year alone, more than 80 percent of college grads were expected return because rents are high and jobs are scarce. For some, the thought of living with mom and dad again, be they 20 or 40 is horrifying or, at the least, troubling.

September marks the true test of a child’s march toward independence and a parent’s ability to let go. As college freshmen settle into dorm rooms and college life, parents feel sad, nervous, and protective simultaneously. Well, some parents…and surprisingly, men can be more affected by a child’s departure than women.

Forty (or close) is the new 20 when it comes to having babies creating a distinct trend with a host of positives for women who delay motherhood including living longer than those who give birth at young ages.

As parents age, their offspring often struggle with caretaking responsibilities. In most families, siblings don’t contribute equally to the care of their parents. The research on the subject shows that the share is often disproportionate, creating resentment and argument between siblings.

This tough economy is causing many people to actually cut back in so many different ways. Even apparently on the number of children they have.

You probably hadn’t planned on living with your parents again, or having your parents or another relative settle in with you and your family. Living with a relative solves many financial problems, but, like expectations, you must straighten out the details in the beginning and adjust them along the way so everyone feels the arrangement is fair.

Boundaries separating you from family occur automatically when you’re independent, formed either by the physical distance or the amount of contact you orchestrate. When you live together again with family, boundaries can blur rapidly. One of the first orders of business is to install ground rules that reshuffle the boundaries to ensure everyone’s freedom and comfort.

Given that so many women work, one would think men would pitch in more. Employed mothers manage the same household tasks and childcare activities as homemaking mothers equaling two full-time jobs for women who work and raise children.

According to an online job source CareerBuilder.com survey, more than half of workers say they work under a great deal of stress, with nearly 77 percent reporting they feel burnout on the job. Difficult co-workers, unrealistic workloads and overbearing bosses are only some of the top workplace stressors mentioned.

An estimated 45 million youth between the ages of 6 and 18 engage in organized sports. Be it soccer or swimming, tennis or baseball, year-round training or participation on too many teams can lead to burnout and overuse injuries which are on the rise according to the American Academy of Pediatrics.

For some people the holidays are a time for friends, family, and relaxation, but for many, even most, the pressure to get everything done and be merry is just too much.

The National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University (CASA) reports that although the percent of fulltime college students drinking has changed little since 1993, there is a marked increase in those who binge drink. While colleges hold a certain amount of responsibility, parents play a key role in stemming the alarming increase in binge drinking.

One of the most enduring relationships we have is the one with our mothers. At the same time, adult daughters and sons often discover that their mothers act in ways that threaten the relationship, engaging in behaviors ranging from annoying to downright damaging.

Overscheduled? Overworked? Overwhelmed? The word NO is an invaluable tool for stemming the tide of favors asked of you and regaining control of your life.

With the divorce rate still hovering at fifty percent, it’s very likely that your mother or father or both will have a new love interest at some point, if they don’t already. When your parent has been widowed or divorced, your bond with him or her changes – sometimes temporarily, sometimes permanently and almost certainly if there is a new person in the picture.

It is a dilemma most working parents face: How do you fulfill your job commitments without cheating your children? Instead of worrying, use the time you have to reconnect in these simple, yet meaningful ways.

When something needs to be done, you’re the one to do it. It often feels as if you’re the only reliable person you know. The trouble is: Everyone else thinks that way, too. Especially your children.

From early morning to late evening most families buzz with non-stop activity that shifts into overdrive during the school year. Extra curricular sign up sheets abound, and the impulse to engage your children in multiple endeavors becomes hard to resist.

When you can’t say “no,” planning your wedding can become an ongoing hassle that adds stress to an already stressful situation. The solution lies in one simple word—“no.” Once put into action, the power of “no” is limitless.

With parents of only children, the tendency to want their children to excel can be so focused that it becomes counter-productive. Here are suggestions to benefit both parent and child.

A parent’s approach to rearing has far more to do with the child’s behavior and eventual outcome than does the number of siblings he does or doesn’t have. In order to achieve a livable balance, parents of onlies must think big; they must operate as if they had a clan.

Picture Norman Rockwell, the classic American painter, alive today and commissioned to paint a scene of our generation’s family dinner. Would it be of paper-wrapped peanut butter-and-jelly sandwiches strewn on an SUV’s backseat? Or of your young son or daughter trying to swallow a sandwich whole while running on to the soccer field for practice?

Most of us feel as if the entire day flies by without a moment to catch our breaths. Although parents usually follow a bedtime ritual with their young children, it, too, is often cut short or rushed. But reserving that time and making it sacred reaps both immediate and long-term rewards for you and your child.

Even when you are all grown up, parents have the ability to get under your skin. But part of the problem may also be that you continue to allow them to treat you like a child by responding the same way you always did—perhaps, flying off the handle, quietly simmering, or sulking and feeling guilty.